


The Night Before

by Arazsya



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Hangover, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22354999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arazsya/pseuds/Arazsya
Summary: In which Martin Blackwood goes through far more than a person that hungover should have to.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Tim Stoker
Comments: 8
Kudos: 101
Collections: The Fluff Archives





	The Night Before

[SOUNDS OF TEA PREPARATION, SLOWED AS IF TO MAKE AS LITTLE NOISE AS POSSIBLE]

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

**TIM**

[Brightly] Morning!

[SOFT NOISE OF PROTEST FROM MARTIN]

Glad to see you made it back okay, wasn’t sure about your text.

**MARTIN**

[TEA PREPARATION NOISES CEASE]

[Strained] Sorry. The keys on my new phone are spaced differently.

**TIM**

I thought you might just have fallen asleep on it – I did try calling later, but you didn’t answer. Wasn’t in the best shape myself if I’m honest, spent about half an hour trying to get into the wrong flat, but I think those neighbours are on holiday right now and I did not successfully break in, so it’s fine.

**MARTIN**

No Sasha yet?

**TIM**

She called in sick. **Might** have overindulged.

Not the only one, apparently.

[Exaggeratedly hushed] Nice shades.

**MARTIN**

**Sasha** did?

**TIM**

Well, not every day we have a “sorry you didn’t get to adopt that dog” drink.

**MARTIN**

I thought it was a “celebrating that dog getting adopted” drink?

**TIM**

It was both. And lots of drinks. I guess we all just needed to have a good time, what with the whole… everything. And it was a good time, right?

**MARTIN**

I’ll tell you if I ever remember it properly.

**TIM**

You don’t? Not anything?

**MARTIN**

… were there shots? I remember shots. And the karaoke machine was out of sync. 

**TIM**

Lots of shots, lots of singing.

**MARTIN**

[despairing] How are you so okay?

**TIM**

Practice. You don’t remember trying to glass trap that spider that turned out to be a bit of old crisp and some dust?

**MARTIN**

No?

**TIM**

Good, didn’t happen. You did break a pool cue in half, though.

**MARTIN**

I did **not**.

**TIM**

You did! You paid the bartender for it and everything. I think you overpaid? The man got an Institute pen and, like, five loose buttons out of it too, they were in your pocket and came out with everything else.

**MARTIN**

Tim, I can hardly work a hole punch.

**TIM**

Oh, come on, you **must** remember – Sasha gave it to you and you just snapped in half and gave it back to her.

**MARTIN**

[GROANS]

Oh, god, now you say – she said it was too long and she couldn’t hit the balls properly, I thought that was why she gave it to me?

**TIM**

Pretty sure she gave it to you because it was your turn. But good to know that chivalry isn’t dead.

**MARTIN**

Did I do anything else?

**TIM**

I wouldn’t know what’s new and noteworthy for you. We probably all need to go for drinks more often, maybe we can rope Jon in–

**MARTIN**

**No**.

**TIM**

[PAUSE]

Or not. It wasn’t all you, if that helps, Sasha ate an entire lemon and got really into sports for about half an hour, until they had to turn the television off.

**MARTIN**

I don’t remember any of this.

**TIM**

You wouldn’t. I mean, you were looking at the karaoke machine like Jon does the statements.

**MARTIN**

And what were you doing?

**TIM**

I was excellent. Helped an old woman with her crossword, calmed you down when someone’s pasta noises hit a bit too close for comfort, took splinters out of my colleagues. Made sure you went to Victoria instead of Stockwell and everything.

**MARTIN**

Is any of this true?

**TIM**

Ask Sasha tomorrow, maybe between the two of you, you can piece it together.

**MARTIN**

Just… tell me I didn’t flirt with anyone.

**TIM**

I don’t know if I would have called it **flirting** –

**MARTIN**

Tim!

**TIM**

Can’t make any promises, Martin, I don’t–

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[SILENCE, AWKWARD]

**ELIAS**

[Slightly louder than normal speaking voice but not at a level he could be called out on even without employee-subordinate power dynamics] Tim. Martin. Good morning. Hope I didn’t interrupt anything.

**TIM**

Morning boss. Uh, no?

**ELIAS**

Are you quite sure? I thought I heard voices, I understand you have a lot of work to be doing, and I wouldn’t want to disturb that.

**TIM**

No, wasn’t anything – what can we do for you?

**ELIAS**

I was just looking for Jon – is he in yet? I need to talk to him about… recent events.

**TIM**

I’ve not seen him. He’s usually first in, though, you could try his office.

**ELIAS**

Right. Thank you, Tim.

Martin, you’re very quiet.

**MARTIN**

I haven’t seen him.

**ELIAS**

Those are some… interesting sunglasses you’re wearing.

**MARTIN**

Oh. They…

**ELIAS**

I’m not sure they really comply with the employee dress code.

**MARTIN**

Um…

**TIM**

It’s actually brightening up out there, boss, and Martin was about to do the coffee run.

**ELIAS**

[Sceptical] Was he?

**TIM**

Yeah. Usually Sasha’s turn, but as she’s off today, Martin volunteered.

**ELIAS**

So using the kettle is an odd choice of morning activity.

**TIM**

[Floundering] Yes. But…

**ELIAS**

Well?

**MARTIN**

Jon prefers tea.

**TIM**

Yes! Jon prefers tea and… and I was just doing that.

**ELIAS**

[Even more sceptical] You were?

**TIM**

Yeah.

**ELIAS**

And Martin is still here because…?

**TIM**

He knows how Jon takes his tea.

**ELIAS**

Right.

Well, I had better keep looking for him – if you see him, tell him I need a word.

**TIM**

Will do, boss.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[PAUSE]

**TIM**

What was **that** about? Do you reckon Jon’s offended someone again?

**MARTIN**

Do you even know how to make tea?

**TIM**

Do you own any other sunglasses? He probably won’t be back down for a bit but– 

**MARTIN**

Not really?

**TIM**

There are some in my desk.

**MARTIN**

What’s wrong with these?

**TIM**

… They don’t comply with the dress code, Martin.

**MARTIN**

But **how**? If that shirt’s okay, then why…?

**TIM**

Honestly if you can’t tell from looking at them…

**MARTIN**

[PAINED NOISE AS SUNGLASSES ARE REMOVED]

**TIM**

[DESK RUMMAGING]

Here.

**MARTIN**

Thanks.

**TIM**

Least I can do, I think I paid for that first cocktail.

**MARTIN**

There were **cocktails**?

**TIM**

Maybe.

**MARTIN**

Tim.

**TIM**

Look, it’ll come back to you. You had a great time, we all had a great time, and we should all go again next week, all right?

**MARTIN**

… Maybe.

**TIM**

Great, I’ll choose us a new pub.

[TEA PREPARATION NOISES RESUME, ACCOMPANIED BY DISAPPOINTING TIN NOISES]

If you could actually go and get those coffees it’d be great, we’re all out.

**MARTIN**

Is it actually brightening up?

**TIM**

Not as far as I know, but it’s not like we see much of the weather down here.

**MARTIN**

[GROAN]

Do you have any change?

**TIM**

Ah, yeah, this is yours actually. We both bet Sasha would win at pool so I don’t think the bet is sound in the eyes of the law. Also one of us bet against me and I’m not sure which it was, so if it was you, you get a pass this time.

**MARTIN**

Oh. Thanks.

**TIM**

Only ever on my best behaviour.

**MARTIN**

The library staff were still talking about what you did at last year’s Christmas party at Easter.

**TIM**

Talking? In the library? Martin, you must be mistaken.

**MARTIN**

[FAINT LAUGH]

[TEA PREPARATION NOISES CONTINUE FOR A SHORT WHILE]

**TIM**

Wait, so you don’t remember…

**MARTIN**

[Good-natured] What?

**TIM**

Never mind. Catch you later, I need to look into something. Something spooky, you know the job–

**MARTIN**

[Concerned] Tim?

**TIM**

[Fainter, over-the-shoulder] There are some painkillers in my desk, you can have them if you need them. Tell Jon I’m using the phone in the library to get around our number being blocked again.

[DOOR OPENS]

**MARTIN**

Tim! What did I–

[DOOR CLOSES] 


End file.
